Struggling With Debt? 3 Steps to Break the Cycle for Good
Let me say something that might sting a little bit, but debt is rarely a math problem. It's usually a habit problem, a mindset problem, sometimes even a belief problem.
If you've ever said, "I just need to make more money," or "if we could just get one big break," or "once this season is over, we'll finally catch up", I want you to stay with me. Because in this post, I'm going to share the three steps that helped my husband and I pay off $87,000 of debt and, more importantly, break the cycle so it didn't come back.
I want this for you. Not just to be debt free, but to be free free.
Our Story
When we got married, we went on this intense journey to get out of $87,000 of debt. Two car loans, student loans, credit cards, furniture loans — we even had our wedding bands financed. We didn't grow up knowing how to manage money well. We didn't grow up investing or talking about stewardship. We just learned the hard way and decided to do things differently for our family.
When we finally looked at that number, I remember thinking — we had just made about $100,000 that year. Our debt literally equaled our taxable income.
What made it even worse was realizing how normal everyone had made debt seem. You're always going to have a car loan. Student loans stick with you forever. Payment plans are just what you do. And the truth is, debt doesn't happen overnight — and it unfortunately doesn't disappear overnight either. It was just small decisions. Swiping now and figuring it out later. Or worst of all, telling ourselves we deserved it. We work hard. Everyone does it. Comparison, comparison, comparison.
Yes, we cut a lot and we got to work. But the bigger shift was how we changed the way we thought about money. Because debt isn't just a financial issue — it's a stewardship issue. And at the root of that, it's a heart issue. All of these decisions go back to what our heart says about money and about comparison.
Proverbs 22:7 says the borrower is slave to the lender. I remember reading that and thinking — I don't want to be a slave to money. I want the freedom to build the life God has called us to.
So here are the three steps that helped us break the cycle.
Step 1: Stop Minimizing It
This is the first and biggest shift you can make — because you cannot break what you keep downplaying.
If you say "it's not that bad" or "we're fine" or "everyone has debt" or "it's just how life is," you are going to tolerate it forever. It will live in the back of your mind and it will keep you stuck.
For us, we had to stop normalizing it, stop joking about it, and stop treating it like a personality trait. Because debt is not inevitable. It's a decision — and decisions can be changed.
You have to get honest. Pull up the balances. Add it up. Say the number out loud and face it. It might make your stomach drop, and that's a good thing. That means you're sick of living this way and you want to make a change. And that, my friend, is the beginning of freedom.
Step 2: Build a Simple, Ruthless Plan
And when I say ruthless, I mean focused. Not chaotic, not emotional, not "try harder" — strategic.
This is where I do love Ramsey's framework. The debt snowball works because it builds momentum. You attack one balance at a time. And here's the part that people miss — you are not supposed to live off rice and beans forever. This is not a forever season. It's a temporary season to pay off those credit cards and student loans. Once you're done, you don't have to live this way anymore.
But you have to ask yourself: are you willing to sacrifice for a season so that you don't sacrifice your future? Because I don't know exactly what your future holds, but I would guess you dream of giving, of traveling, of doing fun things with your family without constantly stressing about money. If you can push through this short-term season, the freedom on the other side is so worth it.
This season will pass. But that freedom? That can stay with you and your children and your children's children for generations to come.
Step 3: Replace the Habit, Not Just the Number
This is where most people fail. They pay off the debt and then celebrate by doing something foolish with money — because the deeper issue was never fixed.
Debt is usually covering something. Emotional spending. Comparison. Lack of planning. Instant gratification. For me, shopping was really emotional. Retail therapy was real. Sometimes it still is. I catch myself falling into the same patterns and I have to stop and ask — what am I actually needing right now? Is it rest? Comfort? Validation? Control?
Because if you don't replace the behavior, the debt will return in a different form.
So here are a couple of reframes that have helped me. When Instagram tells you that you deserve something, try asking instead: is this aligned with our long-term vision? Because you know what we actually deserve? Healthy marriages and a retirement where we're not stressed about when Social Security is going to come in.
And instead of "we'll figure it out later, the kids are little and life is just too much right now" — remember that time is money, and this matters right now. God cares about how you steward your money in every single season. Being a busy mom does not disqualify you from wise stewardship. Discipline isn't restriction. It's alignment with your vision.
What Life Looks Like on the Other Side
When we started investing after becoming debt free, everything felt different. Instead of paying someone else interest, we were earning it. We watched money multiply and compound. But honestly, the best thing it gave us was the ability to give freely without worry — to help families going through hard times, to pay for specialists when we struggled with secondary infertility for three and a half years, to confidently take pay cuts when we moved across the country to Florida and know we would be okay.
It's not just a number. It's a lifestyle. It's habits changing. It's hearts being transformed.
Your One Step Today
If you're ready to make the change, start here: add up your debt. Face it with no shame and just get clarity. That's it. That's step one.
Debt does not define you. It's not your identity and it's not your future. But ignoring it will keep you stuck. Breaking the cycle takes courage, humility, and consistency — but the peace on the other side is worth every single sacrifice.
God is not asking you for perfection. He's asking you for faithfulness. Move your feet, and He will provide.
If you liked this blog post, make sure to head over to our podcast and listen to the full episode!
Episode 6 | Can You Tithe in This Season? A Biblical Framework for Busy Moms
Connect with me on Instagram and let me know if this encouraged you. I would love to hear what God is impressing upon you in this season!
